


Revenge of the Sith: Round Two

by NevilleLongbottomDidNothingWrong



Series: A Galaxy Far, Far Away (Fanfiction Universe) [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, There's just a TEENY bit of angst at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:40:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27769183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NevilleLongbottomDidNothingWrong/pseuds/NevilleLongbottomDidNothingWrong
Summary: A bored Anakin Skywalker left alone to his own devices for a day and a half.That was never going to end well.He enlists the help of his equally chaotic children to prank Obi-Wan for revenge of pettiness past.It works. A little too well.Ahsoka has to save the day from these nitwits. And may potentially also become a business owner...
Relationships: Ahsoka Tano & Original Female Character(s), Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Series: A Galaxy Far, Far Away (Fanfiction Universe) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2048180
Comments: 83
Kudos: 23





	Revenge of the Sith: Round Two

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KittyPaw](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyPaw/gifts).



President Padme Amidala sat in her oval office with an expression on her face that screamed “My life will never be easy. Not with these two idiots.”

As a matter of fact, the oval office of the Blue House was one of the few that _wasn’t_ covered in lightsaber marks, wrecked furniture, and broken windows. The cause of this? The two said idiots sitting across from each other in her office. Her husband’s clothes were ragged and torn, a couple of bruises and a black eye, and a deep pout on his face due to the whole embarrassment now setting in. And Obi-Wan…

Well, Padme wasn’t even sure what to make of it. He was wearing…different clothes than what he normally wears (is that…some kind of skirt?) And also….why the _karking kriff_ is he wearing blue face paint on one side of his face? Like Anakin, he also had multiple bruises, a big one forming around his exposed ribs, and was trying his very best to look dignified, but giving the circumstances, and his current outfit, it was hard to take him seriously. What was even more surprising was Anakin’s claim that he started it, and the secret service agents who witnessed and _took some part_ in all of this actually agreed with him…

Standing at the door was Ahsoka, who has now officially become Padme’s favorite and will owe her so many favors, as she miraculously made it back from rehearsals and managed to stop them both just in the nick of time, who also had an unimpressed look on her face, directed at both disasters sitting across from each other. Standing next to her were the twins, who had a hand in this, but just wanted to watch their first murder.

Given the President’s current mood, the kids probably won’t be disappointed.

After taking a swig of bourbon she had brought up to her office for the sole purpose of dealing with these two (she also thanked the Force the basement cellar was another one of the few places the tornado of Anakin and Obi-Wan didn’t hit), Padme finally began. “A day and a half. I leave you two alone. For a day and a half. I had secret service guarding _you_ ,” she directed cooly at Anakin. “I had a full list of things that you can and can’t do while I’m away, and _you,”_ She directed cooly once again at her Vice President. “promised me that nothing crazy would happen. I was crazy enough to actually believe you. I was wrong.”

“Angel, listen, I…”

Padme put her hand up with a warning glare aimed straight at Anakin. “I’m not surprised you had a hand in this. It’s actually something I might have suspected. What I am shocked about is you, Obi-Wan. From what I gathered, this whole…. _battle_ was your idea!? And what is with that get-up? What. Happened?” She demanded angrily.

“In my defense, Anakin had been a pain in my…”

“I don’t want to hear any words come out of either of your mouths, except for the full, complete story of the events that transpired the _second_ I walked out the door. The front lawn is in tatters, the inside of the Blue House is nearly all ruined and will probably take weeks to fix. The media thinks we’re crazy, and I’m starting to think we are, and the _memes_ …”

 _Yikes,_ Ahsoka thought. She wasn’t wrong. Luke and Leia showed them what the people have made on social media about this whole debacle. She was actually impressed; it wasn’t even the end of the day, and people made quick work to satire the whole situation. Wasn’t exactly good for the rest of them, though.

“So,” Padme asked before she down the rest of her bottle. “Start. Talking.”

CWCWCWC

“You have secret service on standby?”

“Yes.”

“House arrest anklet?”

“Yes.”

“If you need patrols at the fences, I can arrange…”

“Padme,” Obi-Wan interrupted, “I appreciate your efforts to ensure Anakin’s….’stay’ is comfortable while you’re gone, but I can assure you: I can keep a close eye on him. I’ve done it ever since he was a Padawan. He won’t go anywhere without an escort, and no shenanigans will occur.”

Padme sighed and nodded. She didn’t enjoy doing this to him, really. She loves him to the stars and back, but it cannot be denied that the man is like a hurricane of pure chaos. In the short span of time that all of them have lived in the (formerly) White House, he has painted the entire thing blue right under her nose, and has been in a car chase with his _own_ security escort to go after a man who wasn’t even the man he wanted to go after.

So, yeah, precautions needed to be taken in her brief absence. She wouldn’t hold it against him to do something rash, like prank call a despot and start a third planetary war Earth has apparently had in its long history.

“Okay, I trust you on this. But, I do have to ask: what about the Senate bill meeting he wants to attend?” _That_ was a shock for nearly everyone to hear. The thought of Anakin Skywalker voluntarily wanting to go listen to politicians talk and plan was as impossible a scenario as a Hutt growing legs. Until they remembered that the bill in question that day was over robotics and laws that companies creating them had to abide by. Considering Anakin’s previous profession and the fact that he was still a shareholder in his own company, it was obvious that he had a interest in hearing what they had to say. Anakin Skywalker may be dense fool 99.9% of the time, but when it came to droids and how to build them, he was a university scholar. Padme agreed to let him go under the condition that a security escort come with him, and he would _not_ be unattended. Anakin agreed, much to his annoyance.

“We already have several secret service agents at the ready to take him there and back. He’s already agreed to the terms, so I don’t think he will resist.”

“I know, it’s just…there are a million scenarios running through my mind of what could happen while I’m away. I just don’t want to have to leave him alone.”

Obi-Wan put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Then, at the very least, go speak to him about it. Make him promise that he won’t cause any trouble that the world thinks we’re nutjobs, and that you’ll be back to spend some time with him and the kids. I can handle them on my own, and Ahsoka’s already agreed to help if I need any assistance, or if I’m busy.”

Padme nodded and turned to go to her and Anakin’s shared room. She opened it to find him sitting on the bed, still looking disappointed by the new contraption on his ankle. “This is ridiculous, AND goes against my rights.” He pointed out.

Padme crossed her arms. “Considering the state of this once white house, and how many people many people saw you perform grand theft auto with people who are SPECIFICALLY HERE TO PROTECT YOU, I think it’s entirely within _my_ rights to make sure you don’t cause anymore trouble.” She said firmly. Anakin rolled his eyes, but kept his mouth shut. He knew she had a point.

“Fine, I get it, I mean it’s not like I can really do long lasting damage within a day and a half anyway. Where are you even going?”

“Well, the CDC wanted me to come down to Atlanta to see their work on some new medications. It’s been a couple of years since the COVID-19 pandemic hit, and they’ve made strides to find a way to eradicate it completely. I think it’s worth checking out and potentially approving it for human use.”

“Er….we’re not going to tell them it’s kinda _our_ fault it came here, are we? Anakin asked. It’s been such a long time, but it’s pretty hard to forget your Padawan inadvertently started a global epidemic from a doctor’s appointment. Still, it wasn’t necessarily her fault.

“Well, the less they know about, the better. Besides, since it was our fault, we owe it to them to find a cure so it won’t happen again.” Padme said. “But that’s not why I’m in here.” She went over to her husband and cupped her hands to his face. “Ani, I love you dearly, but you are also kind of a psychopath.”

“…eh, fair.”

“Very. That’s why I need you to stay here, and just for at _least_ a day and a half, please remain sane and try to stay out of trouble. When I come back, we’ll take the anklet off and we can take the kids to that arcade you talked about.” She promised. “Also, please help Obi-Wan if he needs it, he does a lot of stuff too, and he may need you while I’m gone.”

“Awww, is that what I have to do while you’re gone. Play maid?” He said dejectedly.

“Not really. You can play with the kids in here too! They love it when you hang out with them!”

Anakin considered it, and the ideas he might have with the children and what games they could play, when they heard a knock on the door. “Padme, I’ve just been informed that the jet has been fully prepped, and the limo is waiting outside for you.” They heard Obi-Wan say.

“Okay, I’ll be right out!” She called back. She turned back to her sad husband, who didn’t like seeing her leave. “It’ll be fine, if you play by the rules. Just…use this time to relax and slow down. You need it. You get ansy when you’re not doing anything.” She tried to reassure him.

“Yeah, well, I’m pretty sure locking me up kinda plays into that a little.” He said, referring to his anklet.

“You’re creative. You’ll figure something out. Remember: play with the kids. Let them know that you’re fun and kind and _sane_. I’ll call you when I land.” She gave him a goodbye kiss. “Love you.” With that, she headed out the door.

Anakin looked out the window to watch her get into her limo with her own agents helping her in and escorting her in other black vans, and watched them drive away. He missed her already. He was also already bored out of his mind. He thought of anything he could do…

“Are you alright?” He heard Obi-Wan say as he walked in.

“Yeah, just miss her, is all.” Anakin replied.

“Well, it won’t be a long trip. She’ll be back to handle your…you. In the meantime, it’ll be that has to deal with it.” He said tiredly.

Anakin smirked. “Just like old times.”

“Don’t remind me. Still, if you want to look for anything to do, I would suggest visiting the library. They have a wonderful collection of novels you may enjoy!” He said happily.

“You mean that’ll put me right to sleep!” Anakin retorted, although he thought if he does stay up late at night missing Padme, he could just open a book and fall right to sleep if he needed to. It’d be a heck of a sleeping pill. “I’m thinking about seeing what the kids are doing, and see if I can play with them.”

“That’s a good idea. They’ll love that! Alright, if you need me, I’ll be in the oval office looking over any documents that need my attention.” As he headed back out the door, he stopped suddenly. “Oh! Almost forgot.” He took a piece of paper out of his inner jacket pocket and handed it to the younger man. “This is the approved list of the secret service agents that will escort you to the Senate. You know the rules?” He asked seriously.

“Yeah, yeah, I got it. No making a scene, no interrupting, and no threatening anyone that makes me mad.” He said like a tired kid going over the list of things he needed to bring to school. Obi-Wan seemed satisfied. “Good. Well, I’ll see you later.” With that, he walked out the door.

Whew. Finally, now he can drop the act.

Anakin followed shortly after, heading to the kid’s room to see if they wanted a part of his “games” he had in mind.

For you see, Anakin Skywalker also had vengeance on his mind.

He had been the victim of several outright attacks by the Vice President, including but not limited to: sassing him at every single opportunity in both their old universe and this one, getting his beautiful _Twilight_ destroyed without him knowing (granted, that hadn’t happened yet, but still, would’ve been nice to know and maybe even helped him rather than steal his ship and getting it blasted to bits), locking him in his office while two tap dancing gremlins broke his eardrums and sanity, and the most recent was those _kriffing sand blasters_ …

Anakin made a promise that he would get some revenge on Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, but she can wait. Now was the prime opportunity to strike at his former Master. While the kids did have a hand in developing sand-based punishment for him, he was willing to forgive them if they played along…

He went into their rooms to see them casually just lounging around, with Luke playing Crash Bandicoot and Leia practicing makeup tutorials on Youtube. They both turned to see their father at the door. “Hey, dad!” They both said at the same time.

Anakin smirked and closed the door behind him. He sat down on the bed next to Luke to watch him play a little bit. “So, what are you doing?”

“I’m…ugh!...trying to beat this level. I don’t get why a kid’s game can be this hard!” Luke said as he struggled.

“He’s been at it for at least an hour now!” Leia said confidently.

“Have not!” Luke said embarrassed.

“Maybe you need a break..” Anakin suggested, already laying his trap.

“And do what?” Luke asked frustratingly.

Anakin leaned into his ear and whispered aloud. “Cause a little mayhem?”

At this, Luke perked up and paused his game. “What kind of mayhem?”

“Hold on a second!” Leia interrupted suspiciously and turned around to face them, crossing both arms and legs. “Why should we help you?”

“Well, because you guys have had such a great time with blasting my entire face with sand and documenting all kinds of my embarrassing moments on your channel, I thought doing it to someone else would be a nice change of pace!” Anakin offered.

“What do we get in return?” Leia asks, and _there’s_ the budding politician coming out of her. Leia has a knack of seeing a situation and trying to see if it is not only worth the trouble, but wants to make the most out of it. Padme would be proud, but Anakin came prepared to make shady deals today.

“You like getting views on Youtube?” Both twins nodded, and Anakin offered his best smile. “You help me prank Uncle Obi while Mom is away, and I’ll be a guest on your channel. I’ll do anything you want me to do.”

Leia’s eyes widened at that, ideas already racing through her mind, until her Cheshire grin indicated she had the perfect one in mind. “Ballet!”

Anakin’s eyes widened now, for _very_ different reasons. “Wh-what do you mean?” He asked hesitantly.

“You agree to do the Nutcracker ballet with me, and me and Luke will go along with your schemes!” Leia said happily. As much as she loves dancing with Auntie Sokka, she would be ecstatic to dance with her Dad.

Anakin, however, was not a dancer, did not enjoy the art, and would’ve walked out of the room if the situation was any different. He already had one dancer in the family annoying the kriff out of him, and now she’s training another to probably do the same. Wonderful. But, he picked his battles carefully. In exchange for jumping around in tights with his daughter, he gets to exact his glorious revenge for the _other_ person in the family annoying the kriff out of him.

Plus, he’ll be the cool dad in Leia’s eyes. That’s always a plus.

Finally, he relented. “Alright. Deal.” They shook hands on the deal, and the planning began.

Three pranks. Three pranks was all it took to drive the normally unflappable Vice President Kenobi to the brink, and caused this entire mess…

CWCWCWCW

  1. **The Wrap Party**



Anakin woke up bright and early after spending the rest of last night mind tricking the secret service agents within the house to sleep just a _bit_ longer than usual. It needed to be done to ensure his first prank go off without a hitch. See, while Anakin was making his rounds, he sent his own little agents to retrieve a crucial part of his plan, and it revolved around the guests coming in about twenty minutes.

See, one of the weird traditions in D.C. is that occasionally, high and/or middle school students are given the honor of touring the White House, getting to see where their leader lives, ask them questions about what is in store for their future, and get a nice photo with them.

Several problems with that: Firstly, the house is now longer white. Second: the president is out at the moment, but the school showing up already knew that, and was contempt to see Obi-Wan instead. And Anakin and the kids were currently working on the _third_ problem.

Presidents get a lot of presents from people. Some of them good, a lot more bad. Those presents get investigated, sent to CIA, and the rest of the material they were sent in, mainly gift wrap, are thrown down in the cellar to get incinerated.

Unfortunately for them, the latest set of gift wrap wasn’t burned today. And their about to be put to good use.

Luke and Leia got the written map of what rooms to show the coming kids in the House, namely the main parlor, the library, several planning rooms where old people do boring stuff, and the main event: the oval office. Those were their points of attack. After hopping the kids up on candy and Mountain Dew to keep them energized for the long night, he and the kids proceeded to cover every part of those connected rooms, from ceiling to floor, to everything in between that was within that room, all in wrapping paper of every color and kind: whether it was themed around Hello Kitty, Spongebob, Dora the Explorer, Snoopy, and other cartoon characters. If the kids want to have a good time, he would provide them plenty of fun.

After staying up to complete their task, the only room left unwrapped was the main entrance room. That was a given, of course; it would spoil the surprise if they wrapped when Obi-Wan would literally walked into the room and blew a gasket at the sight. So, they thought of an alternative.

The man in question came out in his best professional suit and a wide grin at the thought of meeting the impressionable children and answering their many questions about probably everything about Star Wars. Not so much about how their own government works and if they all have a desire to take a role in politics, but he was excited, nonetheless. Meanwhile, Anakin and the kids hid around the corner upstairs and waited for him to step outside and out of sight to put their finishing touches on their scheme.

Once it was time for him to step out to the kids, Anakin gave out orders. “Okay! Luke, go over to the other side, catch the banner when we throw it to you, and tie it around the railing. Got it?”

“Got it!” With that, Luke ran to the opposite end of the upstairs hall and waited to catch their homemade banner. While wrapping the main room was not going to happen, they did the next best thing: they had just enough leftover wrap left to create a banner with big bright letters to hang above the room, perfect for trolling his Master. When Luke caught the other side and tied it to the rail, Leia and Anakin did the same. “Alright, let’s hide out in the camera room and watch Uncle Obi embarrass himself!” Luke and Leia nodded eagerly and ran off ahead, their dear dad not far behind.

Meanwhile, Obi-Wan was out on the front porch greeting the children who had just arrived. Their supervisor came up to shake his hand. “Vice President Kenobi, it is an absolute honor to meet you!”

“I assure, the honor’s all mine. I do so enjoy hearing the wondrous minds of children.” Obi-Wan said.

“Well, they have a surprise for you! Kids, what do you want to say to the Vice President?”

The kids all stepped up with smiles on their faces and said in unison, “Hello there, General Kenobi!”

Obi-Wan laughed merrily at the greeting. “Why, hello there to you all as well, young ones! It so great to meet you all! I have a lot to show today, and although Madam President isn’t here to greet you all as well, she told me to tell you that she’s honored to have the bright minds of the future come visit our lovely…er, Blue House!” He told the children. One of the kids raised his hand. “Yes?”

“Why did you all paint the White House blue?” He asked.

Obi-Wan sighed. “Well, to put a long story short, my former Padawan thought it would be…*ahem*…’so wizard’ and much cooler to paint it blue. So he did. All by himself.”

“OH! Like when he gave Ahsoka’s lightsabers back in Season 7 and made them blue!” A little girl exclaimed.

“Yes, exactly like that.”

“Are we gonna meet her? And Anakin? And the Skywalkers?” She asked enthusiastically, the rest of the kids eager for answers as well.

“Well, unfortunately, Ahsoka isn’t here today. She’s currently at the theatre creating a musical based on the Clone Wars, that I’m sure everyone will enjoy. As for Anakin and the twins, perhaps we’ll run into them during the tour.”

The kids oooh’d in anticipation at the prospect of meeting more of their heroes. “Well, no time like the present. Shall we?” With that, he led the kids in. “Let us start with the main hallway, where we…” Obi-Wan stopped dead in his tracks and looked up above the ground floor.

Someone, and he immediately guessed _who_ , had created a large banner made of….is that gift wrapping paper? The large words clearly read: OBITINE IS CANON!

Obi-Wan would be proud of Anakin for taking the time to learn the English alphabet and made this if he weren’t thinking about strangling the man himself.

Behind him, he heard the children behind him laugh at the sight of the colorful banner, with the supervisor trying her best to quiet them, while holding back a chuckle of her own. “So-so sorry, Mr. Vice President! We know it’s not nice to…” Obi-Wan put a hand up.

“No, no, it’s quite alright. It would appear that Anakin has already made his presence known, in such short time no less. Let’s…ignore this and move on.” Obi-Wan wasn’t even going to address the rainbow banner displaying _false information, thank you very much_ , and instead led them to the door to their right. “This hallway will lead us to the library, where previous Presidents have housed their favorite volumes of literature, some even I’ve grown to enjoy. I’ve been fascinated by the writing style of your…” As Obi-Wan opened the door, his train of thought died.

Not stopped. Not interrupted. Just kriffing _died._

For in front of him was gift wrap. Gift wrap _everywhere_. Wall to wall, ceiling to floor, every painting, vase, door, and window in between. Obi-Wan’s jaw nearly hit the floor at the sight of bright pink Hello Kitty paper assaulting his eyes. How did this happen? None of this was here last night! There was no way one person, even Anakin, could do this alone. He would have needed….

Oh.

Oh, those little _traitors._

If Obi-Wan was any other man with less self control, the string of curses filling his mind directed at the menace that was Skywalker would have made themselves _very_ known. Still, he had to keep his composure not only for himself, but for the children and supervisor who were just as awestruck and confused as he was. They all looked at him expectantly, waiting for any reasons at all as to why the Blue House was suddenly pink in their eyes.

Obi-Wan, a man renowned throughout the galaxy and Earth for his wordplay, did not have an answer.

In the farthest reaches of the Blue House, Anakin, Luke and Leia watched the rest of the day unfold with uncontrolled glee. They watched entertained as Obi-Wan begrudgedly continued with the tour, trying to explain why the library was Spongebob yellow, why the parlor was Dora the Explorer purple, why the room where important bills and legislatures were signed was Spider-Man’s red and blue, and the best part, why the oval office was Daisy Duck lavender, complete with bows on every object that could fit one.

Anakin saw that his face was trying to be calm and neutral in this situation, but in the Force, Obi-Wan was _steaming_.

“Okay, you were right! This prank was pretty awesome!” Leia exclaimed, still not tired from the sugar she ate to keep awake last night. Luke was laughing at the screen that showed the secret service agents waking up and stepping outside to see the assorted wrapping paper themselves.

Anakin felt good. He got a little bit of comeuppance on Obi-Wan, and he got to spend time with his wonderful children. What more could a proud dad like him ask for?

Well, because he wasn’t finished with Kenobi yet, more pranks.

CWCWCWCW

  1. **The Tea Debacle**



Later that day, once the kids had left after laughing at every room and asking all their questions (“Would anyone like to ask anything of Mr. Kenobi?” *multiple hands shot up* “Anything not related to wrapping paper? *All hands shot down*), Obi-Wan stormed up to the security room where the Skywalker menaces hid and demanded to take every bit of it down, sending the twins out first and giving Anakin a good tongue-lashing before sending him out too. It was very late in the day by the time they were all finished, and Obi-Wan had gone up and retired to the newly-unwrapped parlor for a moment of clarity from the color-coated madness of the day, and also to deal with his massive headache.

That headache was about to turn into a migraine.

Once they were completely finished, Anakin guided the kids back into their rooms for round two of Revenge of the Skywalkers. “Alright team, I’ve got an idea, but it requires stealth on your parts, understood?” Anakin asked, and the twins nodded their heads like the good little soldiers of mayhem they were. “Good. Luke, this is going to require your secret stash of candy.”

Luke guffawed. “WHAT! But I’ve been saving that for months, Dad!”

Leia smacked her brother’s arm. “So you WERE hiding candy underneath the floorboard of our bed!”

“Enough! Argue about it later! Listen, Luke, we need your candy to make this work. Specifically, we need your favorite candy you probably have down there: Fun Dip.”

“How much of it?”

“How much you got?”

Luke groaned, got up and crawled underneath the bed. Leia and Anakin could hear the sound of floorboards creaking as he got the box hidden carefully there. He opened it to count how much he had. “Uhhh, six. Different flavors. Why?”

“Okay, I think we need all of them.”

“Come on! I’ve been saving these!”

“Look, if you pull this off successfully, I give you my word I’ll buy double of what you have, each one with their own flavor. Deal?” Luke frowned, but gave in and agreed.

“You still haven’t told us what the plan is, Dad. What are we gonna do? And why do we need to be stealthy?”

“Ah, so glad you asked, my little stardust!” And with that, Anakin began to outline his next master plan.

See, people have vices. Some are gambling. Some are drugs. Some are smoking. Some Anakin Skywalker will never even mention to his children until they’re older (and by that, they would have to be well within their thirties. Hopefully). But for Obi-Wan, it’s drinking. No, not alcohol.

For you see, Obi-Wan Kenobi is a _tea addict_.

Ever since he was a little Padawan learner to that man, Anakin cannot recall a moment where he was without tea every five seconds. He just couldn’t understand why it he thought it was so….good. It was just water and leaves, and the taste never sat well with him. Ahsoka is a lot more tolerable to it, but it still wasn’t her favorite drink either, instead going for carbonated water to refresh from dancing. Because of that, it just meant more tea for Obi-Wan, and he had his own stash of tea. Every part of it, from cups and spoons, to sugar cubes…

To packets of _normal sugar._ That’s not going to last long.

Another thing Anakin knows about Obi-Wan’s tea drinking habits is that he takes multiple cups when he’s stressed. And he usually put in about one or two packets of sugar per cup. So, multiplying that amount with the probably amount of how much of a headache he had from today….

Oh, it was too perfect!

The plan was simple, but very effective: Obi-Wan stepped out for a moment to make his evening rounds around the House, checking if everything was okay and if anyone needed assistance. While he was doing that, Anakin had little white patches that look almost _exactly_ like the sugar pouches Obi-Wan had. Luke and Leia filled those pouches with all the Fun Dip they had, and then snuck into the parlor to take out the normal pouches with the sweeter, more-likely-to-keep-you-awake-ones. They made it out like bandits right as Obi-Wan walked through the other door.

He sat down with a plop in his armchair he had specially delivered to the House, grabbing a book he was previously reading and preparing a cup of tea. And just like Anakin predicted, he had about one half of a sugar pouch in the cup and proceeded to stir it around the brown liquid. Knowing him, he would be drinking more as the night went on.

That, and the fact he just lost his sleep privileges tonight the second the cup reached his lips.

Feeling satisfied with himself, Anakin led the kids back into their room. Honestly, there was nothing really to see here, compared to their last prank. But the effect will _definitely_ come into play tomorrow.

And once that happens, the stage will be set for Anakin’s triumphant finale.

CWCWCWW

3). The 21 Fart Salute

Today was the scheduled day for a Q and A with Vice President Kenobi, going over many topics such as the state of the country, what his views about the world are, and questions about his own galaxy. Normally, Obi-Wan would be prepared for any event such as this, practicing questions in his mind and getting up bright and early to prepare.

Except he’s already been awake. For the whole night. And he felt like _poodoo._

He had been drinking a cup of tea last night to dull the stress of Anakin’s “gift” to him during the tour. Then that drink turned into another. And another. And _another…_

The taste of it was unusually sweeter than what he was used to, but he enjoyed it. Added a bit of flavor to the mix, he thought. It wasn’t until after the fourth cup when he noticed that the sugar he poured into that particular cup was red. He smelt the contents and realized that this was no ordinary sugar, and when he checked the other pouches from previous cups and saw the various colors of those, he _knew._

He made up his mind that when the interview tomorrow was over, he was getting the plumbing redone so that every time Anakin tries to take a shower, it won’t be water coming out…

It’ll be sand.

He tried to sleep, he really did. But the sugar candy he had unknowingly gulped down had taken effect, preventing peaceful sleep from reaching him. By the time he actually closed his eyes and began to feel some sense of drowsiness come to him, a secret service agent came rushing in, saying that the interview was in an hour, and was asking if he should cancel. Not wanting to disappoint anyone, Obi-Wan declined, slowly getting up and ready.

He looked like a zombie from the way he moved around his room, resulting in him trying to splash water on his face and make himself look somewhat like he didn’t just get out of bed.

It didn’t work much.

So there he was, five minutes away from going out there, hair barely kept, small but noticeable bags under his eyes, and feeling like he could go into hibernation into any moment.

Didn’t help that the man who was causing such misery literally bumped into him on the way out to his own appointment. “Woah, sorry Master! Gotta go! See you when I get back! Have fun!” He said in rapid succession as he almost ran out the other door, most likely to escape his ensuing wrath. Obi-Wan was a patient man. He can wait. But first, maybe an aspirin…

Whatever the case, Obi-Wan still had an appointment to keep, and so, the Vice President of the United States stepped out in front of the Blue House to answer question, trying his best to be as tired as he probably looked.

He was _very_ tired. So tired, in fact, that he never noticed the small but very _loud_ device Anakin slipped into his pocket when they bumped into each other. Not until it was far too late…

CWCWCWC

“Anakin. Skywalker.” Padme said, stopping this story for a moment, for she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “I know you can be childish, but how could you? And in front of the press!”

“Hey, he started this whole thing when he locked me in my office and made me go through his psycho romance classes that involved death by sand! I just wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine!”

“You couldn’t have done it a little more PRIVATELY?” Padme shouted, indicating she was having her fill of all of this. Even Luke and Leia looked a little worried for their poor father. “YOU WENT AND DID THIS WHEN HE PROBABLY ALL OF AMERICA WATCHING? WHEN THEY EXPECT PROFESSIONLISM FROM THEIR ELECTED LEADERS! YOU PUT A FART MACHINE IN HIS POCKET AND PLAYED IT LOUD FOR EVERYONE TO HEAR!”

“Well, when you put it like that…”

“You made one go off for thirty. Seconds. Straight.”

“I didn’t mean…

“No, not now. We’re not through. And before we continue…” Padme’s death glare was now aimed squarely at her children, and they audibly gulped. “You two had a hand in this, from what I’ve heard.”

“He promised he would dance with me!” Leia defended.

“And we would get so many hits on our channel! Could you imagine…” Luke started before being promptly stopped by her mother. “You two are in a lot of trouble. But that can wait.” She sighed and turned to Obi-Wan. “Obi-Wan, I understand now why you were so infuriated after the interview ended, along with the combined events my husband and children put you through, and for that, I would like to apologize. But that still doesn’t explain why the front lawn and the inside of the House is in ruins. Not to mention why you’re wearing… _that.”_ She referred to his getup. “And after speaking with the agents involved, they mentioned that this was _your_ idea. So please, explain.”

Obi-Wan cleared his throat to explain what happened. “Well, obviously, I wasn’t in my right mind, and wanted to make Anakin pay once and for all for doing all these stupid things. So, once the interview ended, I made a trip to the Senate building to pay a visit…”

“By ‘visit’, you mean crashing the entire discussion and making a direct threat to Anakin? I saw it on C-SPAN.”

“Er…when said like that, yes…”

CWWCWWCW

Normally, Anakin wouldn’t be caught dead in any sort of debate or meeting that involved talking for more than five minutes, but this was over the future of the state of robotics and droid manufacturing practices in the U.S. He wanted to hear for himself what this may entail not only for his company, but any future entrepreneur in the field going forward. He was listening intently to what the senators who were proposing the legislature had to say when…

“ANAKIN SKYWALKER!” He heard Obi-Wan’s loud, angry voice echo throughout the chamber as he literally burst into the room, shocking everyone involved. Anakin was just as surprised as everyone else. For even at his angriest, Obi-Wan would never resort to interrupt _anything!_

Which meant he was in deep, deep trouble.

“Mr. Kenobi, what is the meaning of this?” The speaker of the House, Mr. Taylor, asked.

“My apologies for interrupting, Mr. Speaker. I just need ten seconds, and then you may continue.” He said with a low tone that spoke just how kriffed Anakin probably was. He then slowly turned his head to address said man. “Anakin, I suggest you best prepare your agents by the time you return home. Because you’ll need them to save yourself from me.” With that, Kenobi spun on his heel and walked right out the door. The House just as slowly turned their heads to Skywalker, wondering what the heck just happened and offering their own sympathies. The agents guarding him were also looking a little worried.

Anakin realized he just woke a sleeping gundark.

CWCWCWC

When Anakin returned to the Blue House, agents in tow sticking to him closer than usual, he noticed some….unusual weapons laying in front of him. He recognized them as fluffy red bats that the kids occasionally played with when they were younger. They weren’t too hard, but they definitely weren’t as soft as advertised, as his kneecaps cringed at the memories. There were several of them, for Anakin and his agents. What was the point of this?

Suddenly, they saw more agents come out from the side of the House, holding they’re own blue bats. They marched in a straight line and stopped in front of them. Everyone one of them had a weapon, save for one at the end, who was….holding a bagpipe?

The agent in question played the pipes, and as soon as he did, Anakin saw a sight that will forever exist in his mind, probably even after he gives his soul to the Force years from now.

Behind the corner, a horse came out to stand next the other agents. On that horse? None other than Kenobi himself, who was _not_ wearing the same suit as before. He was shirtless, with a strap over his bare chest, high boots, and…was that a skirt he was wearing? Also, it appears he applied blue face paint to one side of his face. _What the kriff was going on?_

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Obi-Wan began, using a much _thicker_ Stewjoni accent than what he usually had. “Today, we stand here on this hollowed ground to end a great oppression. An oppression caused by the arse standing in front of you.” He pointed his red bat at Anakin. “Raise a hand if you’ve been personally victimized by the boy with his shenanigans and buffoonery at least once in the short time you’ve known him!”

Everyone of Obi-Wan’s side raised a hand, and even some on Anakin’s side. Traitors. But Anakin was still speechless at the scene in front of him. Obi-Wan has never acted like this before, not even at his worst moments. Maybe he shouldn’t have given him _that_ much Fun Dip…

“Anakin Skywalker, you have two choices: either surrender on your knees, apologize to us all for your idiocy, and loudly promise us that you will never prank us again, or…we will beat the idiocy out of you ourselves!” He raised his bat in the air, as did the agents next to him. Anakin and his agents just looked at each other with various looks of bewilderment. But Anakin steeled himself. “You’re the one who started this when you locked me in my office!”

“Lies! You initiated this the moment MY pie touched YOUR lips!”

“I SAID I WAS SORRY!”

“MEN! It appears the boy had made his choice! Prepare to advance!” The agents readied their weapons. Anakin quickly used the Force to lift the weapons in front of him and give them to his own men, startling them, before picking up one for him. “This is crazy! We can do this another way, you know!” Beside him, the agents whispered amongst themselves. “Are we even allowed to do this?”

“Is there a protocol for this?”

“Technically, doesn’t the VP outrank the First Gentleman?”

But Obi-Wan was undeterred. In fact, Anakin saw yet another sight that would haunt him: a sadistic grin on Kenobi’s face. “Anakin, when you get sent up to the living Force, tell Qui-Gon: he owes me a lifetime of favors for making that promise! _CHARGE!”_ With that, Obi-Wan and the men ran towards Anakin, the horse galloping rapidly.

Anakin got into attack stance. “Men, defend the First Gentleman, and apprehend the Vice President!” With that, Anakin ran toward the fray, his agents not far behind him, as hesitant about the situation as they seemed.

Upstairs, the twins had the perfect view of the carnage down below. “THIS IS AWESOME!” Luke said cheerfully, while Leia had a hand to her face, embarrassed out of association.

“This is insane! Do you know what people will say if they saw this?” Leia said tiredly.

“They’ll say we’re not like the boring old presidential families and we’re super cool?”

Leia just shook her head at her annoying brother. “Ugh! Yeah, sure, whatever you think. Hopefully, Dad wraps this up soon. There’s a crowd forming outside the gate, and I can already tell the memes are gonna be crazy!”

Luke looked at her sister. “What do you mean Dad wraps up? Obi-Wan’s probably going to win!”

“What do you mean by that? You don’t think our Dad is good at fighting?”

“No, of course I do. It’s just that Uncle Obi’s already beaten him before. Plus, he’s on a HORSE, Leia! That’s basically a moving high ground!”

“No, you dolt! Revenge of the Sith hasn’t even happened yet! Besides, Dad probably studied it to be even better just in case something like this happens again! I’m sure he can win!”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Yeah-huh!”

“Alright, fine! Let’s make a bet. If Uncle Obi wins, the next video we make on Youtube is gonna be you making a thirty-minute video about how great I am, and you have to mean it!” Luke challenged.

Leia cringed at the thought of making a video at a five length about such a subject, let alone thirty. “Okay, fine! But if Dad wins, you have to ALSO be in that ballet video I want to make with Dad. Deal?” Leia offered her hand smugly. Luke looked like he wanted to gag at the thought of wearing tights, but relented. “Fine. Deal!” He shook Leia’s hand and got his phone out.

“What’re you doing?”

“Recording this. We still gotta show everyone how cool this looks!”

Leia looked up and pointed. “I don’t think that’s necessary…”

“Why not?” Luke asked as he saw what she was pointing at, and his eyes widened.

“Because I think everyone’s _already_ seeing this!”

CWCWCWC

“Madam President, you need to see this! Now!” Agent Martinez stated as she entered the President’s cabin.

Padme’s day had been great so far. The CDC’s proposed cures and treatments for any future COVID threat were promising, and she went ahead and gave the green light to begin human testing. Now, she was on her way back home to her family. She’d been getting texts from Anakin and the kids about how much fun they were having together, which warmed her heart. Weirdly enough, though, was how Obi-Wan wasn’t messaging her recently. How odd.

But considering the tone of Agent Martinez’s voice and the worried look she gave, Padme realized her day was about to be ruined.

Padme rushed to the main cabin of the jet to look at the TV in there, as other agents gathered around to witness. “This was on C-SPAN in the Senate House today.” Martinez started, hitting play to recap the events there. Padme’s eyes widened when she saw Obi-Wan, looking like a crazed man, storm the building and called Anakin out, then leaving without another word. What the kriff was that about?

“That was about forty-five minutes ago. And this…” Martinez said hesitantly, “…is right now.” She switched channels to a live news feed, where it showed…

Oh, _Force._

Padme’s jaw dropped, and she probably would have dropped the glass of water she was holding in her hand if Agent Smith wasn’t there to smartly take it out of her hand and place it on the table behind her.

It was like a battle, not unlike what she saw on news feeds during the Clone Wars. But instead of clones and droids, it was agent against agent, batting awkwardly at each other like they don’t know what to do. But there were two people there that looked like they wanted to kill each other.

The first she immediately recognized as her husband, defending and attacking with the precision he was known for, even with a goofy red toy bat. What she was confused and slightly terrified of at the moment was the fact that the other person was _clearly_ Obi-Wan, except he was shirtless, had paint on his face, and….why the kark was he wearing a skirt?

The newscaster on the scene looked just as perplexed as the rest of them reporting what they’re seeing, saying this has never happened in U.S. history where members of the cabinet were openly battling each other on the lawn of the Blue House, if Anakin may have become Vader again, and what people online think of a shirtless Obi-Wan, and how he may become more iconic than shirtless Putin. Padme also noticed the VERY large crowd amassed outside the gates to watch on.

Padme put her head in her hands, and was fighting back curses. A day and a half. She thought that would be too short of a time for either one of them to do anything stupid. She really was that naïve to think that. She called out to the pilot. “How long till we get there!”

“ETA is ten minutes!”

Padme looked back at the TV just in time to see Obi-Wan throw his weapon away and just…. _spear_ Anakin through the library window. “MAKE IT FIVE AND YOU’LL BE THE HIGHEST PAID PILOT IN THE U.S.!”

“Yes, Madam President! Please strap yourself in!”

CWCWWC

Anakin groggily got up first and dusted the dirt, glass, and debris off. “Are you nuts?”

Obi-Wan followed after, his skirt flowing in the wind. “Maybe, but who do I have to thank for _that_ , I wonder?” He said with a threatening look.

“Okay, maybe I went a bit overboard, but come on! This is the response?” Anakin was getting worried now, mainly by the fact that out of the two of them, HE was being the voice of reason here.

That’s not a good sign.

Obi-Wan, however, was not backing down. “I haven’t slept all night, I’ve had to deal with every embarrassing situations like coloring the rooms of the House, and making it look like I FART ON NATIONAL TV, YOU PRICK!” Obi-Wan’s movements looked like that of a madman. Okay, maybe he wasn’t exaggerating when he says he’s a man who needed beauty sleep. But Anakin was just as stubborn. “I’m not wrong! This all started when…”

“Oh, will you forget about the tapping?”

“NO! I STILL HEAR IT WHENEVER I SEE AHSOKA!”

“Well, maybe, you shouldn’t have ate my pie, and ABSOLUTELY NOT MESS WITH MY TEA!”

“Your tea tastes like _bantha poodoo!”_

Obi-Wan let out an audible gasp, stunned that someone would dare insult the delicacy that was tea. He put on a serious face and dropped his bat, instead going for the weapon behind his skirt.

Anakin was surprised, but didn’t show it. “Really?” He asked as he reached for the weapon in his suit pocket.

“Really.” Obi-Wan put the lightsaber on its lowest setting, making sure to not kill the man, but definitely not tickle him either. He turned it on and proceeded to go into Sorosu stance. “Afraid to lose again?”

“One: that was low, even for you. Two: that moment hasn’t happened.”

“Then perhaps, you want to remake it to your liking, just like your movies. Can you?”

Anakin shook his head and proceeded to put his lightsaber on the lowest setting as well, before turning it on too. “I win, we agree that I’m the superior duelist, and that every time any Star Wars fan asks, the answer will be me.”

“And if I win, no more pranks, no more schemes, and since you want to go _there_ , anyone asks, _I’m_ the better duelist, my _young former Padawan_.”

Both men stood there in silent agreement, waiting for either to make their move. Then suddenly, both jumped at each other, sparks flying.

CWCWCWWC

Ahsoka’s day was going fantastically!

First, she just finished group auditions for the actors who will play background clones. These roles will be used to fill in the scene and provide backup singers and dancers needed. (She still hasn’t found a Rex or Cody yet, and while she thinks that every _clone_ is important, she understood that they have been part of crucial moments within the Clone Wars, so special actors will be needed to portray them).

Next, she just got a call from Maurice, the actor who played Maul in Ahsoka’s musical number from Anakin’s ROTS: TPS movie, and he said he would love to return to the role when it came time. Further, he said that he knew a guy, Lee, who would be interested to play his brother, Savage. Ahsoka eagerly agreed, as she remembered how much fun it was to work with him, and promised to call him when it got time to include their characters.

However, the biggest surprise of the day so far was the correspondence email she got not long after the call. Mrs. Stephens, Ahsoka’s former dance teacher and head of the Greenwood Stage theatre company, informed her that a friend of hers was looking to sell his dance studio not far from here because he and his family were moving to Pittsburgh. It was a bit smaller than Greenwood, but was still a cute two-story building with rooms perfect for every style: tap, jazz, ballet, ballroom, tango, hip hop, lyrical, pretty much everything. She wanted to know if Ahsoka was interested in taking it off his hands and refurbishing it in her own style. Ahsoka happily responded that she would be interested, and agreed to meet the former owner in a day or two to check everything out. Ahsoka would absolutely love to own a dance studio, teaching kids how to dance and making some extra money on the side. She already has plans to make Kayla a teacher if she wants, but she’ll wait to do that until Ahsoka was absolutely sure she would be acquiring the property.

But first, she needed to get everything set for the first dress rehearsal of the entire Battle of Christophosis from the Clone Wars movie. She had almost everyone she needed for these scenes (except Dooku, which hopefully will also be cast soon), and the backstage crew had the set finished and sound design and lighting ready. Ahsoka got on stage to address everyone.

“Okay everyone, listen up! First off, I want to thank everyone involved so far for helping to make this musical come to life. You all have proven yourselves to be extremely talented people and I can’t wait to keep working with all of you throughout this project! Now, we’re ready to go over what people remember as their first experience with our side of the story: the Battle of Christophosis. We’re going to run through the opening, with Obi-Wan, Anakin and the clones advancing towards the droids, Obi-Wan negotiating with the Separatist leader, Ahsoka arriving to introduce herself to them and announce she’s Skyguy’s new Padawan, them teaming up, and finally, Ahsoka and Anakin’s duet tap number. Everyone got that?” She asked the crowd, all of them nodding their heads. “Great! Okay, let’s let the actors get their costumes and makeup on, the sound people get the music cued up and mics prepared, and we’ll begin!”

The crowd dispersed backstage to do the various tasks needed to prepare. All except Ashlyn, who walked up to Ahsoka, looking a little nervous. “Umm…Ms. Tano?”

“Yeah, Ashlyn? What’s up?”

“I was, um, wondering if you might, after the play, we could….” Ashlyn seemed at a loss for words, but Ahsoka stayed quiet to let her say what she needed. With a deep sigh, she sounded more clearly. “My school theatre class gave us an assignment to perform duets with partners, record them, and deliver them to class in a couple of days. But…well, no one picked me to dance with them.” She said dejectedly.

“What? That’s ridiculous! You’re an amazing dancer, sweetie! Don’t let anyone make you think otherwise!” Ahsoka strongly told her, earning a smile from the younger version of her.

“Th-thank you! But, I was wondering…since this is for a grade, and I don’t have anyone, I was hoping that…you would perform a duet with me?” She asked timidly. Ahsoka’s heart couldn’t take this kind of sweetness, especially not with all the good things happening to her today. “Oh, Ashlyn, I would too! What duets do you want to do?”

“A tap duet to ‘Begin the Beguine,’ and a jazz one to ‘Pink Panther.’

“Okay, I’ll tell you what: I’ll be more than glad to help you, but first, we need to go over the dress rehearsals for this. Once this is all finished and everyone leaves, we’ll have the whole theatre to ourselves to dance in! Deal?” Ashlyn’s head nodded so fast it threatened to pop off.

“Awesome! Now, go backstage and get ready!” Ahsoka said pleasantly, and the girl practically skipped her way backstage. Ahsoka and Kayla shared fond smiles with each other. “My teeth are gonna fall off with how sweet she is.” Kayla said.

“Man, I really wonder if I could have had that same joy if we didn’t have a war…” Ahsoka reminisced

“Well, you have it now! And you have someone who has joy from you. That’s something!”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Ahsoka turned to Kayla and her notes. “Okay, hit me: I know the Clone Wars cartoon isn’t exactly in chronological order. So, what else would we need to go over once the movie portion is done?

Kayla flipped pages to check. “Well, let’s see….we still have the bit where Anakin and Obi-Wan face Ventress before this particular battle, while Cody and Rex deal with a traitor in their midst…”

“Okay, we have Annalise here. Maybe we can practice lightsaber choreography for that later, or at least get started on it…”

“…and also, even before landing Christophosis, Anakin uses the stealth ship on Admiral Trench…”

“Ugh! Okay, I can start writing that after…”

“AND, if we’re really going in chronological order, there’s also the arc in Season 3 that goes over the formation of Domino Squad on Kamino.”

Ahsoka put her head in her hands. Why did George Lucas make it like that? Wouldn’t it make sense to do everything in order? “Okay, I’ll look at those and see what needs to be done.” Ahsoka looked up from the notes to Kayla herself. “Also, you wouldn’t happen to be available in a day or two, would you?”

“I mean, I can check. What do you need?”

“There’s something I need to look at that isn’t far from here that I want to check out. I want to involve you in it, but I need your feedback when we go check it out.”

“Okay, I can do that!”

“Sweet!” With that, Ahsoka looked down at her phone to check anything before going silent for the run through of the scene. No texts, no videos from the twins, but there was a lot of hashtags about Anakin and Obi-Wan, and there were a lot of videos. Turning to Youtube, she saw a live news feed of the Blue House and saw….

What the actual kriff?

Ahsoka’s face must’ve been something to see, because Kayla looked over at her phone. “What’re you watch---oh. My God! Is that…”

“Anakin and Obi-Wan fighting they’re way through the Blue House?”

“Yeah!”

“Throwing furniture out the windows using the Force?”

“Yeah.”

“Using lightsabers?”

“Yeah.”

“Is…is that a _skirt?”_

“Uhh, I think that’s actually a kilt.”

“…what?”

“….it’s a skirt, but Scottish.”

They both continued to look at the mess on the screen before Ahsoka turned back to Kayla. “I need to..”

“Go?”

Ahsoka nodded. “Okay, go….deal with that! I’ll stay and manage from here.” Ahsoka grabbed her bag. “You are a lifesaver, you know that?”

“Thank me later. Go!”

“Okay! Tell Ashlyn I’ll be back as soon as I can!” Ahsoka said while running.

She made it outside to the car where the secret service agent, Anderson, was already out of the car. “Ms. Tano, there’s a situation---”

“Trust me, I know! Get us there quick!” Ahsoka stepped into the passenger side and they were off.

CWCWCCWCW

Ahsoka and Anderson had to park a way away from the Blue House entrance due to the sheer number of people crowded around to watch the fight, but they managed to push their way to the gate. Ahsoka Force-jumped above the gates and used the Force to lift Anderson across as well. The whole front lawn was in disarray, with various furniture looking like they were thrown out using the Force, agents barely getting on their feet, and a horse....um, well, doing his business right there for everyone to see. After that, they started rushing over to the Blue House entrance.

The scene inside was….well, chaotic was a little _too_ soft for it. Across the main entryway were slash marks, scorch marks, and thrown furniture everywhere. They could also hear the lightsabers clashing further down the upper hall. Both of them were in awe at how much destruction they were able to cause in such a short amount of time.

“Ms. Tano?”

“Yeah, Anderson?”

“Permission to speak freely?”

“You always have that permission with me.”

He looked at her. “Your family is crazy.”

Ahsoka snorted at that. “If I had a nickel for everytime someone here or the other galaxy has said that…”

Anderson shook his head and reached for his earpiece. “This is Agent Anderson. I have Ms. Tano with me at the Blue House. Requesting if anyone has eyes on the VP and First Gentleman. Over.”

“Anderson, this is Agent Morris. I have eyes on both. They are continuing their fight down the main hallway. Over.”

“Where have they been since this has started? Over.”

“Pretty much everywhere. Nearly every room they’ve been in has been totaled. We’ve tried to subdue and talk them down, but we can’t get close enough without getting hit by their lightsabers, and they won’t listen. Over.”

“Do you have eyes on the children? Over”

“They are with Agent Cofflin. They have been observing the fight from a safe distance. They mentioned something about a bet, and have been rooting for both VP and First Gentleman. Over.”

Anderson pinched his nose in frustration while Ahsoka reached in her bag for her lightsabers. Despite the fact that there is practically no threat of attack here, she always keeps them on her at all times for situations like this. Well, okay, not _exactly_ like this, but you get the idea.

“I can stop them, but I need to know where they are in the House.” Ahsoka said, lightsabers at the ready.

Anderson nodded. “Agent Morris, I need an exact location of where those two are going. Ms. Tano is moving in to intercept. Over.”

“Copy. It looks like….Oh, God. I think their heading right for the oval office! Over!”

Anderson’s face paled. “If those two do anything to that office…” Ahsoka was already on her way, jumping to the top of the stairs and rushing forward. Anderson wasn’t paid enough for this.

Just then, another agent came from outside. “Sir, we just received word that Madam President is en route back to the Blue House!”

“Alright. We need to disperse this crowd so they can get through. If anyone here can stop this, it’s her!” With that, he went outside to help handle the situation.

CWCWCWW

Anakin and Obi-Wan quite literally fell through the oval office door and crashed to the floor. Both of them were exhausted and filled with bruises from fighting each other non-stop, but they will not relent, not when so much was on the line, mostly their pride.

“*Breathe* Had enough...old man…?” Anakin asked as he got up.

“*Huff* I…am in my _thirties_ …Anakin.” Obi-Wan responded.

“Still old…to me.”

“Since you still have memories as Vader….doesn’t that make you…like…fifty or something? Technically….you’re older than me.”

“….well, if that’ the case….guess that makes me wiser too, eh?”

Obi-Wan laughed as he got up. “You wish.” Both of them had their sabers at the ready again when they heard footsteps rushing from outside, and Ahsoka bursting in. “WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING!?!”

“What am I doing? HE started this! This whole psycho battle was his idea!”

“No, YOU started it when you spent the last day and a half making my life hell!”

“You sprayed me with sand!”

“You tainted my tea!”

“It probably made it _drinkable_ , you addict!”

“ALL TEA IS DELICIOUS!”

“IF IT’S TEA, IT’S _TRAAASH!”_ Anakin and Obi-Wan were about to lunge at each other again before Ahsoka used the Force to push them both against the wall and made them stay there.

“This is insane! Do you two know what you’ve done? Look!” She led them outside the room and made them take one look at the hallway they’ve damaged, just one example of the tornado of violent destruction they’ve wrought today. Both Anakin and Obi-Wan sobered up quickly to what they’ve done.

“If Padme sees this…”

“She already has.”

Anakin and Obi-Wan stiffened at the sound of the voice behind them, turning to find an absolutely _fuming_ Madam President staring them down with the same intensity as an akul stalking its prey. She had the kids in hand as well. Ahsoka, while knowing these two men were morons, was silently mourning them.

“Padme…”

“Angel…”

She put a hand up and pointed to the office. “Office. Now.”

CWCWCWC

“And that’s what led us here.” Anakin finished the story. Padme had her head in her hands looking through her fingers at the collected individuals in the room, wondering how she got stuck with them.

Oh right, she fell for the sand line. Yep. That was on her…

She took a deep, long breath and began. “First. Anakin, Obi-Wan. Apologize to each other for hurting each other physically and verbally. Now.”

“But…” Both started.

“Now.” Padme finished with _that_ tone. The tone that she used when she was dressing down a very idiotic politician, or in this case, two disastrous man-children. Realizing there was no point arguing, both of them took the time to apologize to one another for what transpired the last day and a half.

Padme continued. “Luke, Leia. You two are grounded for helping Anakin ruin Obi-Wan’s time on the job. Go to your room, and when I’m through here, I’ll tell you how long you’re grounded and what you’re not going to be doing during that time, and I assure you that Youtube is one of those things.” Looking pitiful, both twins left the office.

Padme then turned to Ahsoka. “Ahsoka, you’re free to go back to the theatre. I understand you still have an appointment with someone, so I don’t want to keep you waiting. Thank you again for coming here quickly and stopping….this.”

“No problem. I’ll be back soon.” Ahsoka got her bag, and giving one last glare at the two, she went away.

Padme then addressed the last two problems tonight. “Obi-Wan, while I partially understand your reasoning for this stunt, you understand what this looks like to the public and how it makes us look. To that end, you will be apologizing to the agents involved in your ‘battle’ and you will go live to address everyone and apologize for your unprofessionalism and assure them it will never happen again, pride be damned.”

Obi-Wan frowned, but nodded. “I understand, and once again, I apologize.”

Padme then turned to the biggest headache of them all. “Anakin. Like Obi-Wan, you will also apologize to those agents, but your punishment will be to help clean the entire House, inside and out. You will not stop until we can see our reflections on every corner of every room, and every square inch of horse dung has been removed from our lawn. Also, your security anklet is staying on.”

“For….how long?”

“….longer now. Also, you’re sleeping on the couch. That is all.”

With a look of a kicked loth-cat, Anakin dejectedly left the room, Obi-Wan following, but was stopped by Padme. “Obi-Wan, before you go, I just need to know one thing: why did you wear _that?”_ Honestly, she had to know.

Obi-Wan’s only response was, “I thought it would throw it off his rhythm.”

Well, it worked.

After he left, Padme’s face landed on her desk, moaning tiredly at the state of her life. Agent Martinez, who had stood next to her during story time, offered a sympathetic look.

“Agent Martinez?” Padme asked, though her voice was muffled from the desk.

“Yes, Madam President?”

“While I’ve probably checked every room here, there wouldn’t happen to be a secret spa room somewhere, would there?”

Agent Martinez was a consummate professional, so she held down the chuckle coming up. “No, unfortunately not, Madam. However, there is a spa several blocks from here. Since there is nothing on your schedule tomorrow, I can go ahead and arrange a private session, if you’d like.”

Bless this woman, Padme thought. She almost reminded her of Sabe back home. “Please and thank you.”

CWCWCWCW

Ahsoka made it back at the theatre just as everyone was packing up. Kayla gave her the rundown of how the scenes went and what needed to be worked on, while Ahsoka gave a rundown of what a sheer mess her family was. Both girls ended up laughing it off and said their goodbyes, with Ahsoka promising to lock up tonight after she and Ashlyn were done.

Ashlyn already had her costume and makeup off, sitting at the middle of the stage putting her tap shoes on. Ahsoka moved to align the camera to catch all of their movements, and sat down to join her. “Sorry I wasn’t here to see everything. I had a…situation to deal with back home.”

“No, you’re fine. We all actually saw it. I mean…it kinda was being reported everywhere.”

“Ugh! Of course it was. Let it be known that I, along with President Amidala, are the only sane ones in the family.”

Ashlyn giggled. “I’ll keep that in mind. We all saw you rush in though, like you were saving the day back in the cartoon! It was awesome!”

“Awww, it was nothing. Speaking of, I heard you did wonderful today with your performance! I was even told you and Trent were wonderful during your dance!”

“It was so much fun! I think we have it recorded somewhere…”

“I’ll watch it tomorrow, I promise! For now, let’s go ahead and get started with this.” She pulled her own tap shoes out of her bag and began to put them on as well. “Say, Ashlyn, I was curious: how come you picked ‘Begin the Beguine’ for the tap duet? I don’t mind, I do love it, but I was just wondering…”

“ _Oh_.” Ashlyn said, sounding sadder all of a sudden. “Well, it was…it was my mom’s favorite routine when she was a kid. She taught it to me when I first started taking tap. We would do it for both mine and her birthday. Until she…” Ashlyn looked to the distance, reminiscing.

Ahsoka’s eyes widened. “Oh, Ashlyn! I’m so sorry for making you bring that up! I didn’t…”

“Oh! No, no, it’s okay, really! You didn’t know. Sorry if I made it seem that way, but…I still miss her a lot. My dad is there for me, thankfully, but he has to work a lot to keep up with payments, so he’s gone all day sometimes. It’s just me…”

“Ashlyn, earlier today, when you said no one would pick you as a dance partner…Ashlyn, do you have friends at school?” She asked carefully. She had a feeling what her answer was, but she needed to be sure.

Ashlyn shook her head, looking sadder. “Not really. I’m just the one that gets passed over a lot, if that makes sense. Like, not picked on, but never really the coolest one, the funniest, the most popular. Everyone has a clique and I feel like I’m an outsider to them. I love theatre because I can meet new people and make new friends, but it just…feels so hard sometimes…” Tears were threatening to fall. “Sorry if I seem…”

“No, it’s okay. Can…I give you a hug, Ashlyn?” She asked. Ashlyn nodded, and she got pulled into a tight embrace, the previous stress of hers dissipating slowly. Ahsoka broke the hug and looked the girl in the eyes.

“Ashlyn, listen to me. I know what your feeling. I went through that very same thing. Back when I was a Youngling in the Creche, I was picked on and rarely allowed in any group because I was considered a runt in the group. When Anakin first didn’t want me as a Padawan initially, it broke me a little to feel rejected again. Thankfully, that didn’t come to pass, but that hurt stays, and because of that, you recognize someone else going through that almost immediately. Ashlyn, you are an amazing person, and probably the most talented singer and dancer I’ve ever met for someone your age. I wouldn’t want anyone else to play me except you. That’s how good you are. You said that you don’t have many friends? Well, I can happily say that you have a friend right here, who will be there for you whenever you need it. Kayla, too, because she talks about how great you are too, and I’m sure everyone else here thinks the very same thing. You’re funny, pretty dang cool, and once these musicals go live, I’m sure you’ll be the most popular one in school. I promise you that wherever you’re mother is, she’s looking down on you proudly for what you’ve achieved, just like I am.”

Ashlyn’s tears nearly choked her up, and went in for another hug. “Th-thank you! No one else except my dad’s ever said that to me before!”

“It’s all true.” Ahsoka said as she helped Ashlyn stand up, tap shoes long since tied. “And how about this: maybe sometime later, I can bring Luke and Leia down here to meet you? I have a feeling you three would get along very well.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so! I can already tell they’d love to hang out with you. And here’s another thing,” Ahsoka leaned in closer to her, “And you can’t say this to anyone yet, because this isn’t official yet, okay?” Ashlyn nodded. “I may or may not be the proud owner of a dance studio soon, but if I am, I would love to have you attend classes there with me.”

“REALLY?” Ashlyn exclaimed.

“Yes really! That way, you can meet new people to be friends with, keep doing what you love without it being such a far distance from here, AND you and I can keep doing cool stuff like this through private lessons, if you want!”

“I’d—I’d love too. Oh my gosh, thank you so much!” For a third time, the two shared a hug. They broke off for a final time to get ready for the duet. “OH! I forgot my music player!”

“That’s okay! You want to do it acapella? I can use my phone to play the Pink Panther theme.”

“Yeah, that’s a great idea!” Ashlyn said as she tap slid into position. Ahsoka smiled and stood next to her, getting into position as well, the familiar clicking sounds of tap on metal sounding off through the room (this place has great tap acoustics)“Ready to make your mom proud?”

Ashlyn nodded with a wide grin, and using the Force, Ahsoka turned the camera on. “A five, a six, A FIVE-SIX-SEVEN-EIGHT!”

And with that, the two spent the rest of the night dancing away, making something good out of this mess of a day…

Inspired by:

**[KittyPaw](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyPaw/pseuds/KittyPaw) **

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! Another day, another crack fic courtesy of KittyPaw's "A Galaxy Far, Far Away" I love doing fics for her universe. They're so fun!
> 
> Bit of an agnst warning at the end, though, but will be remedied immediately with fluff!
> 
> As always, leave a comment and thanks for reading. KittyPaw, I hope you enjoy it!


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